Tuesday, January 24, 2006
Ramblings
We talked about suicidal tendencies during Youth-at-Risk on Monday. (oh, the company finally got to seat together. Well, doesn't sound like a big thing rite? But to me, it kinda is... though it's gradually beginning to not mean much anymore, sadly.)
About how you need to keep an eye on the wallpaper kinda kids (the kind who hands in homework... the guai, average student) cos they too have a tendency to commit suicide, and it's hard to detect! So the preventive measure is apparently to get them to write journals maybe weekly... and to build up trust and rapport with them, so that you can detect anything suspicious. Oh, have to assure them that whatever they write will be kept confidential between the teacher and the kid too. However, if it will cause harm to themselves, or to others, then we'll have to report it. Bo bian.
Kids in their teens are searching for their identities and go through a tough period. And some have it, or take it harder than others. And suicide seems like a viable option. (Other than those who get high from partially strangling themselves! And then end up really killing themselves! Warped!) Sadly. But then again, who hasn't thought of suicide before? Or rather, not killing oneself, but like imagine what would happen if we were to die? I remember reaching a point of time (prob still think this way) where I did think dying is ok, cos I've tried and/or done almost everything I've wanted to try and/or do. Well, other than teaching and skydiving!
And most importantly, I've received Christ. Anyway, we din own our lives in the first place, so what makes us so arrogant as to think that we can take them away? But I guess, when we are deep and drowning in sorrow, it seems like an easy way out huh? Like how we shut down or enter "ctrl alt delete" when we give up on the comp when it's happily hanging. However, God gave us life. He put us here on earth for a purpose. And it's up to Him to take it away from us when our purpose on earth is completed. And God is faithful... through it all, He will make a way, regardless of how unredeemable the situation is. And if we are struggling with our own selves, just come to Jesus, for He died for our sins. Come to Jesus for forgiveness.
Oh what a tangent I've gone off on! Back to the point. The kids have to learn to trust us. And in order to illustrate this point, tutor V made us play Blindman's walk. Where one person is blindfolded and another guides them. And of cos, you can come up with all kinds of pranks and ideas to sabo your friend. However, my friend was YP jiejie, so of cos can't bear to sabo lah! Haha! (Although she cun STARE at me cos she's blindfolded!! Hahaha!) Anyway, what I like about Youth-at-risk class is that tutor V is so admirable! She is so comfortable being herself in front of her students and joking and talking about anything at all! And takes everything in stride and plays to the tune. For instance, if a boy wolf whistles at someone, ask him to continue whistling cos it's nice. (Not in a nasty or sarcastic manner!) And if a group of boy wolf whistle, better still! Get them to form a symphony there and then! Each boy to whistle one note! Hee. And if it's a gal/s going googoogaga over some guy, tell them to get them number of that guy, cos you also think he's quite cute! Very cool teacher indeed! She is exactly the kind of teacher I strive to be! Oh, and it's fun cos although her 'preaching' is interesting, she still bothers to make the class interesting through little games here and there in between her teaching... when she thinks that we've "been sitting for too long".
In many ways, I cun wait to teach. I cun wait to have fun with the kids! But of cos I'm still a little unsettled.... as in I dunno how the kids will be, what kinda teacher I'll be... whether I'll keep fumbling and making a fool of myself, whether I'll be confident enuff, or be able to act confident enuff to qualify as a proper teacher. Though I'm still looking forward to the bonding I'll have with the kids. Well, that's assuming they like me enuff! And the colleagues... will they be willing to play with me?? Will I be able to be myself in front of them or with them? Or will I have to revert to the quiet, serious Daffy? The other thing is, will I become the bia-er or the bochap-er? If I become the bia-er, will I lose my life (metaphorically!) and end up in Buangkok Green IMH?? Though I supposedly alredy have a bed there. (Someone remind me to call them to reserve my bed!) And if I become a bochap-er, someone just shoot me.
YP jiejie told me that to keep sane, I'll have to keep up the "i want to play" attitude. Yeah I so agree! But I wonder if there'll be anyone willing to play with me then! Dun get me wrong, I'm totally comfortable being alone (I'm an only child!) and like being alone. But often there are times when I yearn for good company, a good laugh or some sharing or just someone to kachiao. I feel that as we grow older, our circle of friends just seem to shrink and shrink. And even if they dun shrink, they seem to become more distant. Soon, everyone will be so caught up with work and promotions and family and kids that friends will become very low in the priority list. And I may sound too cynical here, but I think it's only when suddenly something rocks the boat badly that friends come into the picture. You know, some sort of a spare tyre kinda thing? Oh well, whatever. As long as there are friends who are still willing to be there.
What really perks me up is a simple meeting with friends. Dun have to go play or havock... though I dun mind of cos! Haha! Anything that's fun! Pure, clean fun. And anything simple can be fun! It's the company that counts! Even a simple bus ride or a train ride can be rejuvenating! Heh. Like yesterday after a long day at school, having ZY and Jo for company for half the journey home and talking about nothing at all was kinda rejuvenating and served to perk me up. And then meeting Chien for dinner at the regular Scotts foodcourt (and that gal din eat Beef Noodles! Instead, she ate pasta! Oh man... what's wrong with her?!! hahahah!!), sitting there and chatting... was just more than enuff to make my day! (Especially when we opened a very new can of worms regarding her French. "Listen and repeat". Hahahah!) I wish we could spend more time together, hanging out and talking more often. She is one friend I hope will accompany me throughout life's journeys, despite the dumb things I've done.
Remember the joyful feeling of knowing that a friendship is growing stronger? I miss that. K, I'm just in a very lonely mood. Which also explains why I'm talking to myself so much here! Shall stop. Here.
About how you need to keep an eye on the wallpaper kinda kids (the kind who hands in homework... the guai, average student) cos they too have a tendency to commit suicide, and it's hard to detect! So the preventive measure is apparently to get them to write journals maybe weekly... and to build up trust and rapport with them, so that you can detect anything suspicious. Oh, have to assure them that whatever they write will be kept confidential between the teacher and the kid too. However, if it will cause harm to themselves, or to others, then we'll have to report it. Bo bian.
Kids in their teens are searching for their identities and go through a tough period. And some have it, or take it harder than others. And suicide seems like a viable option. (Other than those who get high from partially strangling themselves! And then end up really killing themselves! Warped!) Sadly. But then again, who hasn't thought of suicide before? Or rather, not killing oneself, but like imagine what would happen if we were to die? I remember reaching a point of time (prob still think this way) where I did think dying is ok, cos I've tried and/or done almost everything I've wanted to try and/or do. Well, other than teaching and skydiving!
And most importantly, I've received Christ. Anyway, we din own our lives in the first place, so what makes us so arrogant as to think that we can take them away? But I guess, when we are deep and drowning in sorrow, it seems like an easy way out huh? Like how we shut down or enter "ctrl alt delete" when we give up on the comp when it's happily hanging. However, God gave us life. He put us here on earth for a purpose. And it's up to Him to take it away from us when our purpose on earth is completed. And God is faithful... through it all, He will make a way, regardless of how unredeemable the situation is. And if we are struggling with our own selves, just come to Jesus, for He died for our sins. Come to Jesus for forgiveness.
Oh what a tangent I've gone off on! Back to the point. The kids have to learn to trust us. And in order to illustrate this point, tutor V made us play Blindman's walk. Where one person is blindfolded and another guides them. And of cos, you can come up with all kinds of pranks and ideas to sabo your friend. However, my friend was YP jiejie, so of cos can't bear to sabo lah! Haha! (Although she cun STARE at me cos she's blindfolded!! Hahaha!) Anyway, what I like about Youth-at-risk class is that tutor V is so admirable! She is so comfortable being herself in front of her students and joking and talking about anything at all! And takes everything in stride and plays to the tune. For instance, if a boy wolf whistles at someone, ask him to continue whistling cos it's nice. (Not in a nasty or sarcastic manner!) And if a group of boy wolf whistle, better still! Get them to form a symphony there and then! Each boy to whistle one note! Hee. And if it's a gal/s going googoogaga over some guy, tell them to get them number of that guy, cos you also think he's quite cute! Very cool teacher indeed! She is exactly the kind of teacher I strive to be! Oh, and it's fun cos although her 'preaching' is interesting, she still bothers to make the class interesting through little games here and there in between her teaching... when she thinks that we've "been sitting for too long".
In many ways, I cun wait to teach. I cun wait to have fun with the kids! But of cos I'm still a little unsettled.... as in I dunno how the kids will be, what kinda teacher I'll be... whether I'll keep fumbling and making a fool of myself, whether I'll be confident enuff, or be able to act confident enuff to qualify as a proper teacher. Though I'm still looking forward to the bonding I'll have with the kids. Well, that's assuming they like me enuff! And the colleagues... will they be willing to play with me?? Will I be able to be myself in front of them or with them? Or will I have to revert to the quiet, serious Daffy? The other thing is, will I become the bia-er or the bochap-er? If I become the bia-er, will I lose my life (metaphorically!) and end up in Buangkok Green IMH?? Though I supposedly alredy have a bed there. (Someone remind me to call them to reserve my bed!) And if I become a bochap-er, someone just shoot me.
YP jiejie told me that to keep sane, I'll have to keep up the "i want to play" attitude. Yeah I so agree! But I wonder if there'll be anyone willing to play with me then! Dun get me wrong, I'm totally comfortable being alone (I'm an only child!) and like being alone. But often there are times when I yearn for good company, a good laugh or some sharing or just someone to kachiao. I feel that as we grow older, our circle of friends just seem to shrink and shrink. And even if they dun shrink, they seem to become more distant. Soon, everyone will be so caught up with work and promotions and family and kids that friends will become very low in the priority list. And I may sound too cynical here, but I think it's only when suddenly something rocks the boat badly that friends come into the picture. You know, some sort of a spare tyre kinda thing? Oh well, whatever. As long as there are friends who are still willing to be there.
What really perks me up is a simple meeting with friends. Dun have to go play or havock... though I dun mind of cos! Haha! Anything that's fun! Pure, clean fun. And anything simple can be fun! It's the company that counts! Even a simple bus ride or a train ride can be rejuvenating! Heh. Like yesterday after a long day at school, having ZY and Jo for company for half the journey home and talking about nothing at all was kinda rejuvenating and served to perk me up. And then meeting Chien for dinner at the regular Scotts foodcourt (and that gal din eat Beef Noodles! Instead, she ate pasta! Oh man... what's wrong with her?!! hahahah!!), sitting there and chatting... was just more than enuff to make my day! (Especially when we opened a very new can of worms regarding her French. "Listen and repeat". Hahahah!) I wish we could spend more time together, hanging out and talking more often. She is one friend I hope will accompany me throughout life's journeys, despite the dumb things I've done.
Remember the joyful feeling of knowing that a friendship is growing stronger? I miss that. K, I'm just in a very lonely mood. Which also explains why I'm talking to myself so much here! Shall stop. Here.
# posted by Banana Saviour @ 8:50 PM 
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aiyo girl arh, believe in yourself. if u are feeling down, think of the reasons why u wanna be a teacher in the first place.
yes, as we grow older, our circle of friends may shrink. but as a teacher, we have a bigger group of younger-than-us friends, whom will make us feel young! dont even need SKII lor.
yes, as we grow older, our circle of friends may shrink. but as a teacher, we have a bigger group of younger-than-us friends, whom will make us feel young! dont even need SKII lor.
Hahaha! You get paid somemore rite?! Unlike pouring out monies for SKII! Hee. But I do feel young! Though it being a dog year this year kinda grosses me out. Haha!
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