Monday, February 06, 2006
Teenagers and sexual relations
We talked about teenagers and the more liberal society now. Where teenagers are more open and willing to talk about sex (which was a taboo in the past) and are also engaging in it earlier and more often.
What faciliates casual sex now is also the internet. An important point being made about the dangers of the internet... when you are online talking to strangers, it's less stressful and more edifying cos you can manipulate them to say nice things to you and make you feel good. This is also another reason why teenagers like to chat with strangers. These people don't know who they are, and hence can't judge them. "Empathy" is the key word while dealing with students.
What struck me was the video, in which 2 girls and 1 guy gave their testimonies. For the guy, he indulged in 2 casual sexual relations and also once with his girlfriend, whom he apparently loved. He talked about the difference involved when love is present and when it's absent. (But the point is, he did it anyway!) He claimed that he felt guilty the next morning, filled with the fear of making the girl pregnant, fear of STDs, etc. But he rationalised it with the fact that the girl was willing. Isn't this what always happens? Whenever we know intrinsically that we have sinned, we try to trivalise it or even convince ourselves that we are blameless by inventing excuses for ourselves. This is also stated in Romans 1:18, where men "suppress the truth by their wickedness". What is "permissible" may not be beneficial.
The other girl succumbed due to several factors. Firstly, peer influence, whereby her friends were all "doing it" with their boyfriends. She was so self conscious, and had low self-esteem, thinking that she was fat and ugly. So she went to the online chatrooms to talk to strangers. And soon enough, there were guys chatting her up and tempting her into having sex with them and all. But she was still too young... she was 12 or 14, I can't remember. But you get the idea. You get how the internet is a 'useful' tool to facilitate such 'transactions'. Anyway, when she was 16, she went out with this 21 year-old fella to a chalet and they were in a room, and he apparently raped her. Afterward, he grinned at her and walked out. HUH?!! She was confused but she din know how to react. She din report it cos she din know if she was at fault, whether she had given out the wrong signals, whether she was willing, or what comprised of rape... cos to her, it was so different from what rape is portrayed to be like. This I blame the media. Poor girl. I guess any girl would be confused and made to take the blame onto themselves. But in such cases, just report. Dun care.
Anyway, she was psychologically scarred, but she din seek help. Instead, she rebounded the other way. She lured men to 'score'. In fact, she slept with up to 50 men in a period of 4 years! (So much so that she could be walking on the street, and meet some guy she has slept with before but not remember!) Her reason? To hopefully find love. She would lay down all her cards and go, "If you want sex, I'll give you sex. But if you want me as your girlfriend, let me know." She felt that if she couldn't attract them with her looks, she could hopefully impress them in bed, and HOPEFULLY they might take her as their girlfriend. Poor girl... Worldly love isn't the most fulfilling love of all, neither is it worth it or eternal. The only love that we can fully trust is God's love, "for God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)
More importantly, these men are SO not worth it! In fact, they are men of high standing in society - lawyers, pilots, doctors, and in her words, "they were all brought down to their knees". Does it really matter if you are of a high positon in society?!Maybe she does feel a thrill and mebbe even taking revenge from the hurt caused by the rape? Even men who are married with children call her! This instantly and totally totally turned me off! It is so SICK! I know that not ALL men are like that. But this is one aspect which I will forever be suspicious of, cos they are more capable than women to have sex without love. This is possibly where the "Men cannot be trusted" saying originated from right? They sweet talk all the way, then once they've scored, they pai1 pai1 pi4 gu3 and byebye, never to have anything to do with you again. And the best thing is they don't lose out as much as the woman. If the latter gets pregnant, the guy can absolve all responsibilites, but the woman has to endure the pregnancy, or undergo abortion. Is it worth it, you ask yourself. Is it worth it to give yourself to a guy who can't be trusted, whose only intention is to score. And even if both parties are willing, to "have fun with each other to kill time", aren't there other ways to have fun?! Like play a sport, go for a meal, etc.
Another proof of a society filled with sin and depraved minds. =(
Anyway, here are some of God's promises towards sin and temptation.
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:8-9)
When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. (James 1:13-14)
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
God is ever faithful and merciful and filled with overflowing love and grace for us even though we are such sinners. Let us clean up our acts and resist and turn away from the sinful desires of the heart and flesh. Let us focus on God and His Holy ways and be edified. Let us be good testimonials for Him.
What faciliates casual sex now is also the internet. An important point being made about the dangers of the internet... when you are online talking to strangers, it's less stressful and more edifying cos you can manipulate them to say nice things to you and make you feel good. This is also another reason why teenagers like to chat with strangers. These people don't know who they are, and hence can't judge them. "Empathy" is the key word while dealing with students.
What struck me was the video, in which 2 girls and 1 guy gave their testimonies. For the guy, he indulged in 2 casual sexual relations and also once with his girlfriend, whom he apparently loved. He talked about the difference involved when love is present and when it's absent. (But the point is, he did it anyway!) He claimed that he felt guilty the next morning, filled with the fear of making the girl pregnant, fear of STDs, etc. But he rationalised it with the fact that the girl was willing. Isn't this what always happens? Whenever we know intrinsically that we have sinned, we try to trivalise it or even convince ourselves that we are blameless by inventing excuses for ourselves. This is also stated in Romans 1:18, where men "suppress the truth by their wickedness". What is "permissible" may not be beneficial.
The other girl succumbed due to several factors. Firstly, peer influence, whereby her friends were all "doing it" with their boyfriends. She was so self conscious, and had low self-esteem, thinking that she was fat and ugly. So she went to the online chatrooms to talk to strangers. And soon enough, there were guys chatting her up and tempting her into having sex with them and all. But she was still too young... she was 12 or 14, I can't remember. But you get the idea. You get how the internet is a 'useful' tool to facilitate such 'transactions'. Anyway, when she was 16, she went out with this 21 year-old fella to a chalet and they were in a room, and he apparently raped her. Afterward, he grinned at her and walked out. HUH?!! She was confused but she din know how to react. She din report it cos she din know if she was at fault, whether she had given out the wrong signals, whether she was willing, or what comprised of rape... cos to her, it was so different from what rape is portrayed to be like. This I blame the media. Poor girl. I guess any girl would be confused and made to take the blame onto themselves. But in such cases, just report. Dun care.
Anyway, she was psychologically scarred, but she din seek help. Instead, she rebounded the other way. She lured men to 'score'. In fact, she slept with up to 50 men in a period of 4 years! (So much so that she could be walking on the street, and meet some guy she has slept with before but not remember!) Her reason? To hopefully find love. She would lay down all her cards and go, "If you want sex, I'll give you sex. But if you want me as your girlfriend, let me know." She felt that if she couldn't attract them with her looks, she could hopefully impress them in bed, and HOPEFULLY they might take her as their girlfriend. Poor girl... Worldly love isn't the most fulfilling love of all, neither is it worth it or eternal. The only love that we can fully trust is God's love, "for God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life." (John 3:16)
More importantly, these men are SO not worth it! In fact, they are men of high standing in society - lawyers, pilots, doctors, and in her words, "they were all brought down to their knees". Does it really matter if you are of a high positon in society?!Maybe she does feel a thrill and mebbe even taking revenge from the hurt caused by the rape? Even men who are married with children call her! This instantly and totally totally turned me off! It is so SICK! I know that not ALL men are like that. But this is one aspect which I will forever be suspicious of, cos they are more capable than women to have sex without love. This is possibly where the "Men cannot be trusted" saying originated from right? They sweet talk all the way, then once they've scored, they pai1 pai1 pi4 gu3 and byebye, never to have anything to do with you again. And the best thing is they don't lose out as much as the woman. If the latter gets pregnant, the guy can absolve all responsibilites, but the woman has to endure the pregnancy, or undergo abortion. Is it worth it, you ask yourself. Is it worth it to give yourself to a guy who can't be trusted, whose only intention is to score. And even if both parties are willing, to "have fun with each other to kill time", aren't there other ways to have fun?! Like play a sport, go for a meal, etc.
Another proof of a society filled with sin and depraved minds. =(
Anyway, here are some of God's promises towards sin and temptation.
If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:8-9)
When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. (James 1:13-14)
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it. (1 Corinthians 10:13)
God is ever faithful and merciful and filled with overflowing love and grace for us even though we are such sinners. Let us clean up our acts and resist and turn away from the sinful desires of the heart and flesh. Let us focus on God and His Holy ways and be edified. Let us be good testimonials for Him.
# posted by Banana Saviour @ 6:11 PM 
